CAREFUL...THESE ARE RAUNCHY
1. There are 1000 Mexicans and one white guy, what is the white guy called?
- Warden.
2. What do Chinese people name their retarded children?
Som Ting Wong
3. A black guy was walking in the jungle when he saw a sexy white woman that was fighting for her life with a giant snake. The black man quickly jumps and kills the snake. The woman says to him:
- You saved me! I am I magic fairy and I can grand you any wish.
- I would like you to make me white and put me between your legs.
Then, the fairy made him into a cotton tampon...
4. What’s the difference between a black guy and a car tire?
- The tire doesn’t sing when you put it chains!
5. What do you get when you cross an Italian and a Black Man?
- A guy who makes you an offer you can t understand.
6. Tommy said to his buddy, George, " You know I got a black guy in my family tree from the 1800's?"
"Is that so?"
"Yup," said Tommy," He's still hanging there too...
7. Why dont mexicans and blacks have children together?
-They're afraid the kids will grow up too lazy to steal.
8.What's the difference between St. Patrick's Day and MLK Day?
-On St. Patrick's Day everyone wishes they were Irish.
9. How do you circumsize a redneck?
-You kick his sister in the chin!
10. Why are there only two paul-bearers at a Mexican funeral?
There are only two handles on a garbage can!
11.A group of threen men met at a bar. 1 was Italian, 1 was French, and the third was Jewish.
They began to speak of their wives.
The Frenchman said, "I wiped butter all over my wife, and she screamed for twenty minutes!"
"That's nothing!" the Italian exclaimed. "I rubbed pasta sauce on my wife, and she screamed for an hour!"
The Jew said, "Well, I rubbed oil all over my wife and she screamed for six hours!"
The Frenchman and the Italian looked at him is amazement. "Six hours? How did you get her to do that?" they asked.
"I rubbed my hands on the drapes."
12. What's long, black, and never ends?
- The unemployment line
13. Why do so many black people move to Detriot?
-Because they heard there were no jobs there
14. Why do black men not go square dancing?
-Everytime they hear "Ho-Down", they stop to see if there sister got shot
15. Why are black people afriad of a chain saw
- Because to them a chain saw sounds like "ruuuuun niggga niggga niggga nigga"
16. Following the assault of a young white woman, the police rounded up the usual suspects for a lineup.
Suddenly, the Mexican suspect stepped forward and screamed "That's her!!"
17. A nigger goes to the doctor in South Africa. He cries he’s got neck pains, the doctor tells him to strip his clothes and walk in four legs and stay for a while in every corner of the room. The nigger, get’s up in his feet and asks the doctor what’s the point:
- Well this because I have a new black table and I wanted to see where to put it!
18. Why did the Redneck couple decide to have only 4 children?
-They'd read in the newspaper that one out of every five babies born in the world today is Chinese.
19. Three Texans are sitting together on an airplane. Two are hardy, tall men wearing cowboy boots and 10 gallon hats. The third is a little old Jewish man wearing a yalmuke, short pants, and high black sox with sandles.
The first Texan says: My name is Roger, I have 2000 acres and 3,000 head of cattle. I call my place "The Jolly Roger."
The second Texan says: My name is Gene. I own 5.000 acres and 5,000 head. I call my place "Gene's Ranch Estate."
The little old Jewish man says: I own 200 acres and got no cattle.
And what do you call your place says Roger sarcastically.
Downtown Dallas says the old Jewish man.
20. Did you hear in the news that a 747 recently crashed in a cemetery in France?
The French officials have so far retrieved 2000 bodies
21. You go to a cockfight. How do you know if a Jew is there?
A: He's the one with a duck.
22.What happened to a Brighton Beach prostitute who had an appendectomy performed by a Soviet emigrent surgeon?
He sewed up the wrong hole, so now she's making money on the side.
23. What did the black baby say to its mother when it had diarrhea?
-Mommy Im Melting!
24. Do you know why Polish men, when they go to sleep, bring one glass full of water and one cup empty?
-It's because they doesn't know if they'll be thirsty or not
25. Buckwheat from the Little Rascals became a Muslim.
Now they call him Kareem of Wheat!
26. What does a black boy get for Christmas?
-Your Bike
27. What do you call a gay Jewish person?
-A He-Blew!
28. Did you hear about the 4 Jews who froze to death in a
drive-in movie???
-happened last winter, they went to see Closed for the Winter
29. Two Jewish mothers are sitting in a restaurant.
The waiter comes over.
"Is ANYTHING alright...?" he asks.....
30. Why are there no phone books in China?
Because there are so many Wing's and Wong's, they are afraid you will Wing the Wong number.
31. What is the difference between a Frenchman and a bucket of shit...
Answer... The Bucket
32. Why does the wind blow from the North in Minnesota?
-Because Canada sucks
33. How does an Amish father find his daughter in the field?
- Pretty good.
34. Two rednecks meet on a dusty country road. One of them is carrying a big bag labeled, "chickens."
"Chickens, eh?" says one guy. "Hey, if I guess how many chickens you got, will you give me one?"
"Heck, " says the guy with the bag, "iffin you guess right, I'll give you both of 'em."
The other scratches his head and guesses, "Um... five?"
35. When's can you spit in a Mexican woman's face?
-When her mustache is burnin
36. What's sand paper called in Saudia Araibia?
-A map
37. There is a Black dude and a Mexican in a car. Who is driving?
- Nethier, the cop is.
38.What are two guys with their hands up a camel's ass called?
-Iraqi Mechanics
39.What did the Jewish mother say when her daughter announced that she was pregnant?
-Are you sure it's yours?
40. In South Africa a black guy was walking with a parrot on his shoulder and on his way he meets with a white guy.
- He is so cute! Does he speak? Asks the white guy.
- I don’t know I just bought him! Says the parrot.
41.What happens when a Mexican doesn't pay his garbage bill?
-they stop delivering
42.What goes Clip clop clip clop clip clop BANG clip clop clip clop
clip clop?
-An Amish drive by shooting!
43. There is 5 black dudes in a Cadilac. They drive off the Grand Cannon. What is sad about this story?
- A Cadilac seats 6 black dudes.
44. A monk was driving in India when suddenly a dog crosses the road. The car hit and killed the dog. The monk looked around and seeing a temple, went to knock on the door. A monk opened the door. The first monk said: "I'm terribly sorry, but my karma ran over your dogma."
45. What's the difference between a white man and a snake?
One is a evil, cold-blooded, venomous, slimy creature of Satan, and the other is a snake.
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